Chol Moed Pesakh, 2001
Today is an equalizer. Peter arrived for weekday prayers with only a tallit. He and most of the men in the synagogue do not don tefillin as it is an intermediate day of Pesakh. As a non-Jew, Peter is not permitted to wear tefillin during weekday minyan. Tefillin increase the opportunity of Peter being mistaken for a Jew in quorum reckoning. Not wearing them makes him feel naked, but today, just like on a Yom Tov or Shabbat, Peter stands with the others—bare of tefillin. Today is an equalizer.
“Even maw’asu haboniym…” (The stone the builders rejected), recites Peter from the Hallel. He finishes this verse and then glances down to the following note in his ArtScroll Siddur:
Today is an equalizer. Peter arrived for weekday prayers with only a tallit. He and most of the men in the synagogue do not don tefillin as it is an intermediate day of Pesakh. As a non-Jew, Peter is not permitted to wear tefillin during weekday minyan. Tefillin increase the opportunity of Peter being mistaken for a Jew in quorum reckoning. Not wearing them makes him feel naked, but today, just like on a Yom Tov or Shabbat, Peter stands with the others—bare of tefillin. Today is an equalizer.
“Even maw’asu haboniym…” (The stone the builders rejected), recites Peter from the Hallel. He finishes this verse and then glances down to the following note in his ArtScroll Siddur:
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The stone the builders despised has become the cornerstone. This verse refers to David, who was rejected by his own father and brothers. When the prophet Samuel announced that one of Jesse’s sons was to be anointed king, no one even thought of summoning David, who was out with the sheep. Israel too is called [stone], for Israel is the cornerstone of God’s design for the world…But the builders, i.e., the rulers of the nations, despised the Jews…
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Peter sees an immediate and profound relationship between Israel and her Messiah. Both are rejected and despised. Israel is abhorred and rejected by the nations while her Messiah is the one abhorred and rejected by the nation [Israel]. His mind hearkens to Isaiah 49:7
כֹּה אָמַר-יְהוָה גֹּאֵל יִשְׂרָאֵל קְדוֹשׁוֹ, לִבְזֹה-נֶפֶשׁ לִמְתָעֵב גּוֹי
For says YHWH, Redeemer of Israel, his Holy One to [him] despised of the soul, to [him] abhorred by the nation…
Though this is a day of equalization—a day in which the visible signs of Peter’s status as a non-Jew are removed—he feels the weight of his difference. Though standing amongst the rejected nation who is called, “My servant, Israel,” he feels a sense of alienation. The sacrifices and commitments that he has displayed have not been met with the acceptance and open arms that he expected. Rather, Peter has found general coolness with respect to his conversion. This reality is startling, and acceptance of it creates a sense of estrangement or subtle dubiosity. He finds himself yearning for identification with the rejected Messiah.
The walk home is made pleasant with the earth’s redolent offerings released from their winter captivity. The waters are still contained behind the dam, but today’s revelation has strengthened the current.